We Are Not Ashamed! (but who wouldn't want a little something done here and there...)

If you had a child who had some physical imperfections, however minor or major, would you have plastic surgery done to improve their appearance? Maybe pin their ears back if they protruded? People do this everyday, especially in certain upscale areas of California. The number of noses, lips, eyes, and breasts that have been worked on is astounding. Don’t forget Botox, hair transplants, wrinkle creams, chemical peels, and permanent makeup. Tooth whitening is one of the most requested services in dental offices these days. Hey, and while we’re at it let’s throw in hair coloring, acrylic fingernails, and plain ole’ makeup. However minor and impermanent they are still designed to change and beautify one’s appearance.

What if your child happened to have Down syndrome? Would you consider it then? What if you earned your livelihood by making other people “beautiful” as a plastic surgeon, or a hairdresser, or an esthetician? What if you were a dentist? Wouldn’t you want your child, who happens to have Down syndrome, to have what you perceive to be the best life has to offer—what you can give them?

In considering this decision, there is one BIG concept to address. INCLUSION. Inclusion means including our children with the rest of the world. Putting them into regular classrooms. Giving them the tools and opportunity to live away from home, marry, and hold more than menial jobs. Teaching them to dress well so they can make a good impression, including applying makeup and hair coloring and perhaps even hair transplants and capped teeth. Mainstreaming them as much as we possibly can, according to their ability and desire. If a child with Down syndrome is of sound mind and is of legal age, why not consider plastic surgery? Almost everyone else does. And isn’t that what parents want and have been pushing for all this time—to be treated like everyone else? So what’s wrong with “having a little work done”?

We are not ashamed of our children’s “Down syndrome-ness”. We are not trying to hide, mask, or otherwise deny the truth. No, in fact we celebrate it! Do people who don’t have Down syndrome want and get plastic surgery? Yes, some of them. Do people who have Down syndrome want and get plastic surgery? Yes, some of them.

It’s all about the intent of the surgery. To cover up the fact a person has DS by using plastic surgery is wrong. To try and cover up or hide such a wonderful, fun, hardworking, and BEAUTIFUL segment of our population is abhorrent and sickening. On one level it’s equal to aborting babies who have DS. Then it’s all about getting rid of the “imperfect” ones. But if a person wants to have a little something done to their eyes or lips or whatever to make themselves look better--who also just happens to have Down syndrome--who are we to deny that?

Loneliness or Happiness?

Madison, we’re told, is high-functioning both physically and cognitively, and we consider ourselves blessed beyond measure. Our little girl is achieving milestone after milestone. We expect that she will be able to function in today’s society, to contribute, to be an example and an inspiration to all.

But will she be happy? Will she be lonely? Will she have friends?

Because of her abilities and disabilities, she will be a part of two worlds—the typical and non-typical. Will she find a place amongst her peers where she will have friends, respect, and love? And who are her peers, anyway? Will they be mostly typical people or mostly people with Down syndrome or other disabilities? Where will she fit in?

Ultimately, she is an individual, with her own talents and abilities. To hold a fulfilling job, have good friends, to be a good person, and marry if she finds the right man would be part of my dream for my beautiful daughter.

And, of course, to be happy.